go conquer the world
by faeriesqueen
Summary: "Go ahead, Wraith," he whispered to himself. "Go conquer the world." That wouldn't have been the last time he saw his Wraith, his Inej, Kaz knew that. Or at least that was what he hoped.


He heard her before he could even see her, just as he always did.  
Kaz Brekker shot to his feet and almost dropped his chair on the ground as he turned towards Inej, sitting on his window with her head cocked to the side, and the light of the sunset coming from beside her. She jumped into the room silently, and Kaz had to clear his throat before speaking – there was something different in her face, but he couldn't quite place it yet.  
"You're still here," he declared plainly, fixing the chair in place and slightly limping away from the desk he was sitting in front of, doing _nothing_.  
"My parents wanted to see where I've been these years, I tried to dissuade them but –" she shrugged and hopped on the edge of the desk, forcing Kaz to turn in her direction. _Even her voice is different_, he thought as he forced his expression to remain the same, _what was it all about? Was there something she wasn't telling him?_  
"They're stubborn, aren't they?" he asked, and the girl smiled slightly before nodding. "So you don't have just their looks," he added, making her giggle. He'd never heard her giggle – laugh, sure, sometimes even snort, but _never_ giggle.  
"Don't give them all the credit, Kaz, most of my stubbornness comes from having to put up with you," she replied, and a little smirk broke on his face, pulling the sides of his healing wounds. "They're waiting on the ship, I just wanted to say goodbye," she added after a few moments of silence, and Kaz's stomach ached, twisted, forcing him to lay a hand on the back of the chair like he needed it to stay up. _He needed his cane_.  
"Good," he murmured, almost to himself. "Yes, good – I guess that's it," he said again, loudly this time.  
Inej studied him, still sitting on his desk, and frowned slightly before sighing, moving her gaze away to focus on nothing in particular within the room's walls.  
"You're not gonna ask me again to stay?" she asked, her voice so low for a moment Kaz thought he'd imagined it. _Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me. _But he hadn't, and he forced himself to stand still, taking a deep breath in just to say one word. One simple, short, easy word.  
"No," he exhaled, and saw her shoulders hunch slightly, dropping a weight they didn't know they were holding. _What would be the point?_ He couldn't ask her to stay there because he knew why she looked different, why she _sounded_ different – she was happy. After so long, his Wraith was truly happy, because she had it all: her ship, her family and her freedom. Who did he think he was, taking it from her? "I bought you a ship, I intend you to use it," he said though, pushing away all of his thoughts, all of his desires.  
She turned her head towards him, now closer to her without neither of them realizing it, and a smile was crossing her lips.  
"I could ask you to come with me," she replied, and for a moment Kaz froze on the spot. _Did she mean it?_ He leaned on the desk, wanting terribly to pull his leg up and rest for a few hours. When was the last time he'd slept?  
"I'd refuse – I still have things to do here," he said back, and Inej's smile got wider, but she didn't move from her corner of the desk. _She was waiting for him to come closer_.  
"You don't have to do anything, it's not what you want," she said to him confidently, her head tilted again, her eyes studying every single movement of his face, of his body.  
_What do you want then?_ He'd got his money, his vengeance. _Jordie's voice in my head silenced forever,_ he wasn't so sure about that. _You, Inej. You.  
I want you to stay. I want you._  
"You know what I want," the words struggled to come out from his mouth, they struggled even to form in his throat. "But how will I have it?" he asked then, and limped slightly to her, stopping right in front of her and forcing her gaze up to him. He breathed, slowly, and noticed her hands twitching at her sides but still firmly holding onto the desk. "Fully clothed, gloves on, my head turned away so our lips can never touch?" he persisted, and Inej's eyes widened slightly.  
Slowly, tentatively, he reached for her sides, brushing his bare fingers against the back of her hands as he took another step forward. He pushed away the wave of nausea the touching brought with it and forced his gaze towards hers – he was standing between her legs now, but she didn't move, she didn't try to reach for him, standing still as the tip of his fingers traced the length of her arms, stopping at her neck, where the clothes left space to her bare skin again. He wanted to keep going, lean forward, _try_. He remembered her skin under his lips – warm, smooth – the shot of desire he'd felt with that bare touch, the way she'd called him, how she'd whispered her name. _If only,_ he thought, _if only he could._ She murmured his name again now, gentle and kind, her eyes gleaming and her breath slowly hitting his face, brushing his lips. He looked at her, a frown twisting his face before slightly shaking his head. Inej sighed, and under his fingers Kaz felt the movement of her muscles as she moved her arm up, brushing her thumb beneath his eye before tentatively cupping his cheek. He took a sharp breath in, closed his eyes and then reopened it again, pushing once more the images of the bodies again.  
"You have to do this on your own, don't you?" Inej's voice was barely a whisper, still delicate, still soft. Kaz felt his throat ache as he held his breath, searching for her eyes. The girl smiled gently, then nodded. "Whatever happened to you, on your own terms and times, you're gonna overcome it," she said to him, just slightly leaning forward, a frown narrowing her brows. "And whoever hurt you – _make them pay, let them know who Kaz Brekker is_," she whispered at last, before removing her hand from his face. He exhaled a breath, but felt the lack of her skin's warmth against his cheek. Nevertheless, he stepped back, leaving enough space for Inej to jump of the desk and head towards the window again.  
"You could use the door for once," he told her once he overcame the lump in his throat. She was already on the window and turned her head just enough for him to see the grin that crossed her lips.  
"But where would be the fun of it?" she asked, joyous. Kaz smiled back and watched as she jumped over.  
"Go ahead, Wraith," he whispered to himself. "Go conquer the world."

That wouldn't have been the last time he saw his Wraith, _his Inej_, Kaz knew that. Or at least that was what he hoped.


End file.
